Tuesday, November 11, 2008

November 11.

wow. alot has happened!! =] my life has been looking up so much.!! Im over it. Im over donny Im over adam cotner. idc. Its because my first love is back in my life && even though I thought I loved both of those other assholes. Even being next to adam ryan calisto made me realize I never ever felt that way with anyone else ever. && I never want to. I love him with all of my heart. hes perfect. he doesnt yell he doesnt tell me I do everything wrong. he lets me be me.



Its like when he broke up with me I got depressed. He was my first kiss, my first best friend, my first love. I felt like a had a big piece of me missing.

the story::
on friday britt was staying the night && so we were on the couches because my mom said that we could sleep down there && my mom was at the computer on the phone && then she goes uh.. chloe adam calisto just called. I was like omg!! =] we hadnt talked in forever. && last time we did he told me that he hated me. bcuz of what donny had told him. but anyways.. so I grabbed brits phone && called him.. & he asked if brit & I would come hang out but it was like 10 so I told him maybe he could stop by. So he said he would && mom said it was gravey. So I ran upstairs and was getting ready && brit goes chloe he wont come so idk why youre gettting ready.. then he called && goes "Im here." I was like omg!! haha; then brit ran downstairs && when I went down there my mom was telling him how he shouldve waited til she was back from the cruise && how broken I was.. lol. I was like mom. your embarassing me!! =p then we went && got a pop from the gas station && went to mcdonalds.. && then went and got the strangers. When we went back home && put in the movie he sat on the other couch then britt goes sit inbetween us. so he did. then right when its started brit asked if greg could come over.. so then adam calisto went && got him. Then we put in the movie && adam sat by me && he put his hand down like he wanted to hold my hand. but i didnt know if it was my imagination.. lol. So then when he got up to smoke with my mom.. I put my hand down there.. and when he got back he held my hand!!!! =] I got butterflies so bad. I just wanted to cry. =p.. anyways.. after the movie he goes are you gonna rap battle me? && my mom goes she doesnt do that instaed she writed poems && she wrote one for you. && all of them begged me to let him read it && finally I did.. && then he just kept looking over at me. Then I was like brit go down in teh basement with me to get mean girls && he goes no I wanna go with you I wanna talk to you. So then when we got down there he hugged me so tight && told me he was so sorry.. && not to cry. && he was horrible to me and that he was sorry for that. Then he wiped away my tears.. =] when we watched mean girls we cuddled && he kissed me on my forehead. =] It was perfect. I never wanted it to end. Then when he left he told me to call him in the morning. So I did. && he was like "sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but I dont want a gf" I was like its cool I understand.. Then he was like "youre awsome you know that"?? =] But anyways so then he called me everday until I finally said we could chill. && he came && picked me up at 7:30.. && we went to the river bluff && parked.. and he had his glasses on. =] he looked so darn cute.. anyways then he layed his head on my lap && we just talked. =] && did stare downs. =p. hes amazing. =] then he had his arm around me && he kissed me on my cheek && then he leaned in && kissed me!!! =D omg! My body went weak and my butterflies went on an overload. I love him!! Then when he took me home he drove me through my ally && kissed me one last time. I miss him. I needed him in my life && the missing piece is back.

I just wish I could be with him. But I understand. Maybe one day && if not he taught && showed me how I deserve to be treated.

but the secret is.. :: I wanna marry him. =]
I have never ever felt this way with anyone. && I dont think I ever will.


Matty goes to new york tomorrow morning. =[ Im going to miss my hero && one of my best friends && my bubby more than anything. He is one amazing person. =] I love my bubby more than life.




Adam cotner called me && told me he loved me && wanted to have babies && get married. I was like cool do it with someone else. =p GO ME!! =] woowoo.
Hes gonna miss out. he had his chance.


but the bad thing is.. is that now I have a bf. && I kissed adam.. so I feel horrible. Im not a slut && I like dakota its just I love adam so much. && I never thought he would ever even talk to me again.. so. idk what to do. I guess it will come to me. =]

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